Monday, January 10, 2011

Making Your Resolutions a Reality

With the dawn of each New Year, you set new goals for yourself.  If you are like most Americans, by February, your resolve is waning, and by May you don't even remember your resolutions.

According to surveys, only 8 percent of Americans successfully achieve their New Year's resolutions.  An astounding 45 percent fail by January!  Why can't people keep to their resolve?  Those who fail are often guilty of trying to achieve too much too soon.  People wishing to stick to their resolutions should work in small step-by-step stages and seek the help of friends and family.

This Year can be Different!

The starting point of being successful at ANYTHING in life, including resolutions, is your expectations.  Whether or not you expect to accomplish something will decisively impact whether or not you do.  Expectations cause two things to happen.  First, they stimulate actions that are consistent with the expectation.  Outcomes are then produced which are consistent with those actions.  And second, expectations inspire a particular quality of conversations.  The surrounding environment (friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, etc.) begin to respond to those conversations, and that environment takes action and produces outcomes that are consistent with those conversations.

For example, if you are confident that you can replace the leaky faucet in the bathroom, even though you've never done it before, your attitude will be positive and your actions will have a quality about them that produces results. You're likely to stick with those actions long enough, and learn what you need to learn, to get those results. You will find people who can help you and you will learn from them. If you stick with it, your environment will come to know you as someone who can figure things out, or at least, someone who can fix faucets. The next time a faucet leaks, or a door squeaks, you'll be inclined to build on your previous triumph and take a crack at something new.

On the other hand, if you don't think you can fix the faucet because you don't how, or you think it's not worth it to try, then your attitude, thinking and enthusiasm will be much more limited. Your actions will be half-hearted and you probably won't stick with it for very long even if you do start. People won't take you seriously, and may even decline to support or participate in your efforts. In the end, you'll produce a result that reflects all of these factors. In this case, you won't fix the faucet and you will be less likely to attempt similar projects in the future. Substitute the example of "fixing the faucet" with "losing weight", saving money", "writing a book", "falling in love"... well, you get the picture. The nature of expectations is that they determine what action we will take and the quality of that action. The expectation itself will be a dominant force in determining the outcome

And that's what makes New Year's Resolutions so vexing for most of us. Regardless of what we say we want, or how badly we want it, or how sincere or determined we are, the "reality" for each of us is that we expect to do the same things we've always done, with the hopeful chance of some improvement. The trick to busting out of this Resolutions cycle is to find a way to think outside your expectations, because if you don't do that, no amount of strategizing or goal-setting is going to make much difference. It isn't an overnight process, but there are some steps you can take that can get you headed in the right direction.

8 Ways to Make Your Resolutions a Reality

  • Write it down. You've heard it before, but the truth is writing down your goals forces you to get clear about what you want.  Use a pen and paper (you can transfer it to your computer later).  That simple physical act helps cement the desire in our brain.
  • Find a replacement. In The Compound Effect, Darren Hardy explains one way to break a bad habit is to replace it with a good one.  What can you choose to add to your life that will fill the void left by eliminating a bad habit?  For example, replace TV time with family time, candy with fresh fruit, talk radio with inspiring audios.
  • Tell someone.  Talking about your goal-even if it seems huge and impossible-allows others to encourage and help you by providing resources and information you may need.
  • Take baby steps every day.  Even small steps taken toward your goal consistently will move you in the right direction.  Once you experience a few small wins, taking bigger steps becomes easier.
  • Take some BIG steps.  Don't take all year to do what you can accomplish in a day.  Once you've written down your list of goals for the year, figure out which goals could be accomplished this month-or even today.
  • Decide and act.  Mental hurdles may keep you from making decisions and taking action.  Get over it!  Make a list of all the reasons you want to accomplish your stated goals.  Refer to that list when indecision or inaction threatens to take control.
  • Team up.  Even if you  don't share the same gaol, having an "accountability partner" or "success buddy" can keep you accountable.  Meet weekly (in person or by phone) to check in on and encourage each other.
  • Celebrate your successes.  Every time you reach a milestone, acknowledge your accomplishments in a positive way.  For example, if you drop a dress size, buy a new outfit.  If you pick up a new client, have dinner with a mentor.  Celebrating your success will keep you focused on the larger goal.
Rise Above The Fear

It's impossible to achieve greatness or fulfillment without embracing fear.  While failure, ridicule or even physical danger may lie beyond the confines of comfort, reaching for new heights requires risk.  The choice then, is this: Subsist in mediocrity or push past fear and become the person you were meant to be.  In order for us to change, we MUST change our unconscious conditioning that controls 96-98% of our perceptions and behaviors.  You change that powerhouse, and then the physical change will follow.

"The key to change . . . is to let go of fear."
~ Rosanne Cash 

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References:
Starting Points for Achievers - SUCCESS Magazine, January 2011

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